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July 15th, 2007


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03:14 pm - Blah
Sometimes I wish I could just skip the rest of this summer, and start classes. I have nothing to do with myself.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Metallica - unforgiven

(16 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
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Heh, don't know if world of warcraft would even work for me under linux, likely not. And most of the other things you mention a re a bit too ambitious for me. But I do have plenty of webcomics to read.

And, as I know you mentioned... it's more a sign of a full-sized person trying to squeeze into an uncomfortable depressed-sized life. As a silly metaphor, but yeah.
[User Picture]
From:tyrsalvia
Date:July 16th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
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And, as I know you mentioned... it's more a sign of a full-sized person trying to squeeze into an uncomfortable depressed-sized life.

...and yet, you seem content to stay that way, which is what confuses me.
[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 01:17 am (UTC)
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I guess I just don't want to shock my parents too much. Even by changes that they've made it fairly clear wouldn't in fact shock them.
[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 01:22 am (UTC)
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To be more clear - I've never been good at making friends in person, and when I'm going to school in anothe city in a bit over a month, it seems silly (and maybe wrong) to try to make friends, much less anything more. Especially since I still don't have any strong interests yet, which, fairly objectively, makes me dull, and people don't like dull people. Especially dull painfully shy people.

Also... I think I owe a lot to my parents, and while I'm sure they'd be happy for me to have more of an identity, I'm not sure how they'd feel about some aspects of it. Being vague, since this is a public post.
[User Picture]
From:tyrsalvia
Date:July 16th, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
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I know you don't make friends in person easily. Notice that most of what I suggested has nothing to do with friends? I mean, you can go photograph things on your own just fine, or take out a book on how to learn Spanish and practice it in your room. Similarly, these are activities that I simply cannot see shocking virtually anyone's parents.

There are a lot of enriching and awesome things you can do with your time while you're alone. I mean, sure, friends might be nice, but given that you are moving and in general are a little awkward in person, I agree that pursing new friends right now probably isn't a good plan. Still, there's a whole lot of stuff out there you can do with no friends whatsoever.

I'm hardly suggesting you dye your hair green and practice Satanic ritual on the front lawn. Take up Italian cooking, or painting trees, or bicycle riding, or making elaborate card houses, or learning Russian, or building model airplanes, or learning to play the flute. None of this is even potentially scary.
[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
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Hmm, it could be useful to learn to cook, I suppose... to be honest, maybe it's not as much worries about my parents as my own very small comfort zone.
[User Picture]
From:tyrsalvia
Date:July 16th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
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to be honest, maybe it's not as much worries about my parents as my own very small comfort zone.

That's what I suspected, which is why I've been continuing this conversation so long. Why is your comfort zone so small?
[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 02:38 am (UTC)
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Hmm, I suppose part of it is that so much of my life is online, I rarely have reason to get offline (and, certainly, not to be social offline... if I get offline now, it's to eat, sleep, work, shop (rarely), go for a walk or go to karate). And, maybe part of that is leftover not wanting to impose myself on the world, but a big part is also just... not knowing how to deal with some things. I suppose I could read, among other things, for the rest of this summer, but to be honest I tend to flit between books rather than getting into one.

Again, I really do not know how to thank you for all of this, and I'm sorry if I didn't say. If there's anything I can do for you, *please* do let me know.
[User Picture]
From:tyrsalvia
Date:July 16th, 2007 10:29 am (UTC)
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The way you can thank me is to try to branch out a little. I mean, from talking to you, you're an interesting guy. I'd really like to see what kind of art you'd make. I mean... out of all the things I suggested, what do you have to lose? Yeah, you might leave your comfort zone a little bit, but that's part of growing up. If you're too comfortable all the time, you're not doing it right.
[User Picture]
From:pakaran
Date:July 16th, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
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There's a couple of my (very old) poems up here and there. I suppose I could write more though.

I didn't take art classes past the middle school level, because I'm not able to draw (it always looks kind of Picasso-like with the proportions, except I think he did it on purpose, so that makes it artistic... =)

In any case, I will try and do *something* other than be bored. I do demonize my parents a bit much, when the truth is that in some respects I'm afraid of growing, rather than afraid of frightening them.

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